Why don't people think things that were funny a hundred years ago are funny now?

The fact that they have let Daryl Somers back on TV is bad enough for our country’s apparent intelligence levels, but the incredibly dated-looking Hey Hey It’s Saturday reunion specials (played on Wednesday nights, obviously) are even worse.

On Last night’s show, nobody thought to stop a ‘red faces’ act going to air where the participants were dressed in blackface and taking the piss out of the Jackson family – a reprise of their appearance on the show more than 20 years ago.

Somers even apologised saying he “didn’t think” the sketch would be offensive to anyone. Where as he’s usually known for his brilliant mind and razor-sharp insights (see Dancing with the Stars, for examples).

Well, apparently not a lot has changed in Australia in the last 20 years. In today’s news forums, public opinion has been mainly concerned with “political correctness gone mad” and people being able to have a laugh at this sort of thing even though our “national identity” is all about “larrikinism”.

If you ask the UN, who tend to reprimand us pretty regularly over our treatment of the indigenous population (not to mention their standard of life) as well as the fact that we like to lock up children who risk their lives coming to our country seeking asylum, they probably don’t think its all that funny.

So, international tourists – Where the Bloody Hell are you?

Here’s a few links that highlight our “she’ll be white” attitude and the way the international community see us:
http://www.mail-archive.com/recoznet2@paradigm4.com.au/msg00396.html
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/08/28/2669997.htm
http://www.nswccl.org.au/issues/hr_violations.php

Talk about Larrikins!

With her completely natural and un-reconstructed look, Jackie O ' Munter wins this years most desired award...

It’s official: Jackie O has the most appropriately suited head to being a radio host in the entire Universe.
Kyle Sandilands is EXCEPTIONALLY ugly, don’t get us wrong, but it’s clear to anyone with eyes that Jackie O ‘ Munthead is the clear winner in this years competition.

Scientists have actually proven that you can see her ugliness through the radio.

But nothing bad that ever happens on their “show” is her fault at all – someone with this level of disabling ugliness couldn’t possibly be able to function in society or think of anything on their own.

Kyle Sandilands has spoken about the non-consentual gorup-sex that turned him into a fat, talentless, never-was...

Kylie Sandilands has shocked the media by speaking out about his controversial group-sex with every single football player in Australia.
He says he didn’t like it and that it was non-consentual – but staff heard him bragging about it around the water cooler the day after the incident.
You can tell he ws asking for it, anyway…

Tracey Grimshaw, Gordon Ramsey & Kevin Rudd race to the bottom of the barrel...

OK, so Tracey Grimshaw was offended by something Gordon Ramsey said that was unsubstantiated.
Tracey Grimshaw hosts a show called A Current Affair, which you can learn a lot about if you remove 2 “r’s” and an “e” from the word Current.
Now if you’d like to see a little of the journalistic integrity presented by Tracey and her “program”, you can read about just a few of the times that ACA has broken the broadcasting code or been sued for putting to air false or erroneous stories here:
http://www.abc.net.au/pm/stories/s303826.htm
http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/swim-coach-sues-aca-over-teenage-girl-report/2005/11/01/1130720517686.html
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/03/18/2193234.htm
http://forums.leagueunlimited.com/showthread.php?t=211294
http://www.smh.com.au/national/we-didnt-fake-it-diving-couple-sue-20090607-bzvd.html

These are just five examples of the brilliant, well-researched reporting the show represents.

Gordon Ramsey is a celebrity “chef” who’s shows are exactly the same as every other “reality” restaurant show, and nearly identical to eachother. Oh yeah, he swears a real lot too. And not just for ratings.

Due to accidentally being given skin that is about 20 sizes too big for his body and face, Gordon requires constant ironing.

As for Kevin Rudd, when he’s not watching (and commenting on) TV shows, he alleges to be the leader of our nation.

A comparable argument to the one between Tracey Grimshaw and Gordon Ramsey...

Russell Crowe and Terri Irwin have united to save the universe from peole who aren't as smart as them...

In a continuation of his brilliant scientific career, New Zealand actor Russell Crowe has told US chat-show host David Letterman that everyone should sign a petition to “save” some of terri Irwin’s real estate from the EVIL of a Queensland mining company.

The property under debate was bought by the Federal Government for $6.3 Million and GIVEN to the “Irwin Family Trust”, 2 years AFTER the company Cape Alumina was given permission to mine in the area. Cape Alumina have carried out 3 separate environmental impact studies – with another yest to be completed – on the effects of their proposed bauxite mine in the area now known as “Steve’s Place” to honour the deceased animal molester and national hero (of America).

While terri Irwin has been telling everyone (via the very crap http://www.savestevesplace.com), she has been getting quotes on putting up sever kilometres of electrified fence to keep the cattle she plans to run on the property in check.

So according to the very environmentally minded Terri:
Mining = bad
Cattle = good

Just have a look at some of Australia’s soil-salinity problems and waterway pollution as a result of cattle-farming.
She certainly loves the environment and not her wallet.

The beautiful and very un-lion-haired Deltra Goodrem has a sore throat... but not from sucking at all...

Suppose you were organising the Australian Grand Prix for 2009, the very race that starts the season, and you needed some top Australian “talent” to perform the National Anthem at the beginning of the race.

Luckily, a certain “star” of the Australian ARIA Award Industry Music Industry makes contact with you weeks before the event and offers her “oral services”. With so many things to organise, at least now you can relax about this particular part of the proceedings. In return you offer her and her “celebrity” partner $7000 worth of hospitality, accommodation and catering at the event.

Deltra's lion-hair performs for Mark Webber, who lost the race due to disappointment with Deltra's absence...

But then, at midday on the day of the race (with the anthem scheduled for 5PM), said “star” contacts you to let you know she has “laryngitis”, has lost her voice and can’t possibly sing the Anthem at the Grand Prix. Now you have 5 hours to find a replacement and the let the “multitude” of Delta Goodrem “fans” that she won’t be appearing.
How very professional.

Luckily, to assuage any criticism of her amazing lack of professionalism, Deltra hits the town later that night with a bunch of her “celebrity” friends, talking, dancing and drinking late into the night. All things which you would obviously do if you were “layed up in your hotel room with laryngitis”.

As if all this wasn’t un-Australian enough, Goodrem’s Irish “partner” still turned up to the Grand Prix to enjoy the “free” hospitality provided in exchange for Deltra singing (beautifully) the National Anthem.

Luckily though, no-one at the Grand Prix was mauled by Deltra’s hair this year…

PETA celebrities really know their stuff. Shown are some of the celebrity molls who think they know more than scientists or farmers...

South Korean manufacturing giant, Kukdong has joined a growing list of retailers and manufacturers who refuse to use Australian wool because the animal molestation rights group PETA use celebrities in their campaign against the practise of Mulesing.

So now the companies that believe celebrities and hysterical hippie activists over farmers and scientists are: Nike, Gap, Marks & Spence, Hugo Boss, Abercrombie & Fitch, Timberland, H&M, American Eagle, Columbia Sports Wear and Liz Claiborne.

PETA’s brilliant campaign website, http://www.savethesheep.com has all sorts of fabulous pictures pointing out the cruelty of the Australian wool industry for both it’s live-export trade as well as the mulesing business. Mulesing is the process which farmers use to protect their sheep from fly-strike, involving cutting folds of skin away from the sheeps bum-hole.

PETA says that mulesing is cruel. They even program celebrities, desperate to publicise themselves, to say the same thing.

Fly-strike is a problem with sheep in Australia where blowflies feed on the poo stuck to the sheeps bum, eventually causing a massive, open sore and infection which the flies also eat and lay their eggs in. A sheep can take 2-6 months to die an excruciating death from fly-strike, where their infected wounds basically become deeper and more infected until the animal slowly dies.

If you’d care to read through PETA’s brilliant and informative http://www.savethesheep.com website, you’ll notice it conspicuously avoids suggesting an alternative to mulesing, other than “breeding new types of sheep, increased monitoring and blowfly control”. Sounds pretty well thought out, right?

So rather than be cruel and cut the animals once with sharpened instruments, the “animal rights activists” would rather let Australian sheep die the incredibly painful and slow death that fly-strike causes.

It’s not like a bunch of hysterical, hippie activists to sensationalise a “struggle” without thinking it through or coming up with viable alternatives.

Baz Luhrmann uses the next 10 years of Australian film finance to create a display platform for Nicole Kidman's forehead...

Finally a film has been made that tells the real story of our wide, brown land.
Not many people really know about the Australian cowboys who all carried Winchester rifles and said “crikey” all day whilst being “mates” with the local Aborigines; or about the invasion of Darwin by 16 million Japanese fighter-planes (which were also bombers); or the fact that our REAL national anthem was “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” until 1988.

Thankfully, Australia’s most prolific, creative and talented cocaine snorter director has been given $140 million to set the story straight on our fair nation once and for all, by making a “romantic epic” aimed squarely at American audiences who are staying away from it in droves.

Along with the $140 million for the BRILLIANT financial black-hole film, the Australian Government (in it’s infinite cinematic wisdom) has thrown Baz an extra $40 million to make a few ads for Tourism Australia.

Surprisingly, they’re exactly as crap as all of his films have been, selling a ridiculous, stereotypical version of Australia to people who don’t want to sit on a plane for 20 hours.

16 million Mitsubishi Zeros invading Darwin Harbour during Warld War II. All of this really happened...

Sorry, we meant to say they “invested” in our countries future with a “blue chip” stock named Baz Luhrmann, whose 3 films have grossed about $360 million worldwide… Now if that’s not justification for giving him nearly $200 million, we don’t know what is.

Oh wait, yes we do… Nicole Kidman’s in the film as well.
For those of you who don’t remember Our Nicole, she was married to Tom Cruise for a while and her films used to make money (when she was still a freckly redhead). Thankfully, though, over the last 10 years she has become the LEAST BANKABLE STAR in Hollywood, adding to the massive financial risk that this steaming pile of crap has become.

But then, Australians certainly love to gamble.