Why do people call them pirates? The Sea Shepherd logo is clearly not intended to appeal to adventurous young boys.

That’s right folks. Those wacky whale lovers of the Sea Shepherd organisation need our help. After taking the law into their own hands and sailing around the Southern Ocean attempting to terrorize the Japanese whaling fleet into ceasing all activities, these poor, completely innocent activists are crying foul over collisions between theirs and the Japanese ships.

After the sinking of their super-expensive future-boat, the Ady Gil last month, the militant hippies activists are claiming that the Japanese whaler, Yushin Maru 3 intentionally rammed their motor vessel, the Bob Barker (motor vessels run on diesel fuel and cost millions of dollars, incidentally. Very environmental).

The leader of the Sea Shepherd organisation and captain of the Steve Irwin,  Paul Watson (who was kicked out of Greenpeace for wanting to take the organisation in a violent direction) has been calling on the Australian Government to do something about the Japanese whaling activities for some time. Rather than pursuing their agenda in a court of law, though, the organisation would prefer the Boys-Own-Adventure style of excitement allowing them to spend millions of dollars on ships and fuels to “do battle” with the Japanese in the largely un-monitored Southern Ocean.

There’s an organisation based in the Deep South of the USA that makes similar claims about pushing their agenda and “upholding their rights”.

Vigilantism: When will the Government come to the party?

Why don't people think things that were funny a hundred years ago are funny now?

The fact that they have let Daryl Somers back on TV is bad enough for our country’s apparent intelligence levels, but the incredibly dated-looking Hey Hey It’s Saturday reunion specials (played on Wednesday nights, obviously) are even worse.

On Last night’s show, nobody thought to stop a ‘red faces’ act going to air where the participants were dressed in blackface and taking the piss out of the Jackson family – a reprise of their appearance on the show more than 20 years ago.

Somers even apologised saying he “didn’t think” the sketch would be offensive to anyone. Where as he’s usually known for his brilliant mind and razor-sharp insights (see Dancing with the Stars, for examples).

Well, apparently not a lot has changed in Australia in the last 20 years. In today’s news forums, public opinion has been mainly concerned with “political correctness gone mad” and people being able to have a laugh at this sort of thing even though our “national identity” is all about “larrikinism”.

If you ask the UN, who tend to reprimand us pretty regularly over our treatment of the indigenous population (not to mention their standard of life) as well as the fact that we like to lock up children who risk their lives coming to our country seeking asylum, they probably don’t think its all that funny.

So, international tourists – Where the Bloody Hell are you?

Here’s a few links that highlight our “she’ll be white” attitude and the way the international community see us:
http://www.mail-archive.com/recoznet2@paradigm4.com.au/msg00396.html
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/08/28/2669997.htm
http://www.nswccl.org.au/issues/hr_violations.php

Talk about Larrikins!

A jockey blowing his horses brains out to win a race - its not cruel, he's just doing it so we can win money by betting on him...

Australian Jockeys are upset that people want to stop them from blowing out their horses’ brains in order to win races. For people so tiny, they sure love the animal cruelty!

New rules being bandied around the Aussie Horse Racing industry (see problem gambling for more info) would make it not as acceptable for the little tackers to use handguns on their horses in order to make them run faster.

“I don’t see the problem,” one Jockey told us in his high-pitched voice (he was too small to identify), “All we want to be allowed to do is blow out our horses’ brains in the crucial last few hundred metres of a race. But the Animal Rights people – who don’t understand that problem-gambling on horse races is part of our national culture – think its in some way cruel or something…”

Since institutionalised sports-gambling addiction is part of our Australian identity, the animal lovers will surely have to come around.
I mean, we breed these animals so we can be cruel to them (not that it’s cruel). If we didn’t breed them for having their brains blown out, they’d just be wasting their time living happily in their natural environment or something.

And you can’t gamble on that!

Kyle Sandilands has spoken about the non-consentual gorup-sex that turned him into a fat, talentless, never-was...

Kylie Sandilands has shocked the media by speaking out about his controversial group-sex with every single football player in Australia.
He says he didn’t like it and that it was non-consentual – but staff heard him bragging about it around the water cooler the day after the incident.
You can tell he ws asking for it, anyway…

Tracey Grimshaw, Gordon Ramsey & Kevin Rudd race to the bottom of the barrel...

OK, so Tracey Grimshaw was offended by something Gordon Ramsey said that was unsubstantiated.
Tracey Grimshaw hosts a show called A Current Affair, which you can learn a lot about if you remove 2 “r’s” and an “e” from the word Current.
Now if you’d like to see a little of the journalistic integrity presented by Tracey and her “program”, you can read about just a few of the times that ACA has broken the broadcasting code or been sued for putting to air false or erroneous stories here:
http://www.abc.net.au/pm/stories/s303826.htm
http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/swim-coach-sues-aca-over-teenage-girl-report/2005/11/01/1130720517686.html
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/03/18/2193234.htm
http://forums.leagueunlimited.com/showthread.php?t=211294
http://www.smh.com.au/national/we-didnt-fake-it-diving-couple-sue-20090607-bzvd.html

These are just five examples of the brilliant, well-researched reporting the show represents.

Gordon Ramsey is a celebrity “chef” who’s shows are exactly the same as every other “reality” restaurant show, and nearly identical to eachother. Oh yeah, he swears a real lot too. And not just for ratings.

Due to accidentally being given skin that is about 20 sizes too big for his body and face, Gordon requires constant ironing.

As for Kevin Rudd, when he’s not watching (and commenting on) TV shows, he alleges to be the leader of our nation.

A comparable argument to the one between Tracey Grimshaw and Gordon Ramsey...

Russell Crowe and Terri Irwin have united to save the universe from peole who aren't as smart as them...

In a continuation of his brilliant scientific career, New Zealand actor Russell Crowe has told US chat-show host David Letterman that everyone should sign a petition to “save” some of terri Irwin’s real estate from the EVIL of a Queensland mining company.

The property under debate was bought by the Federal Government for $6.3 Million and GIVEN to the “Irwin Family Trust”, 2 years AFTER the company Cape Alumina was given permission to mine in the area. Cape Alumina have carried out 3 separate environmental impact studies – with another yest to be completed – on the effects of their proposed bauxite mine in the area now known as “Steve’s Place” to honour the deceased animal molester and national hero (of America).

While terri Irwin has been telling everyone (via the very crap http://www.savestevesplace.com), she has been getting quotes on putting up sever kilometres of electrified fence to keep the cattle she plans to run on the property in check.

So according to the very environmentally minded Terri:
Mining = bad
Cattle = good

Just have a look at some of Australia’s soil-salinity problems and waterway pollution as a result of cattle-farming.
She certainly loves the environment and not her wallet.

K.Rudd meets B.Obama in his own pants. Obama seems to think Kev is a pretty cute little fella...

In the TOTALLY UNPREDICTABLE and in-no-way-forseeable financial crisis that has struck our western world down like a black plague epidemic, there are few heroes.

Luckily (for all of us), one of those heroes is the Honourable K. Rudd P.M Esquire.

By simply meeting with the new arse to kiss in Washington the President of the United States of Texas, Kev was able to avert the current financial crisis and garantee that it will never happen again.

In order to stop himself using too many acronyms during their meeting, our over-generous and glorious leader took full responsibility for the financial crisis… blending all of his acronyms nicely into one easy-to-remember version.

KFC: Kevin's Financial Crisis acronym cuts through all the politico-speak...

PETA celebrities really know their stuff. Shown are some of the celebrity molls who think they know more than scientists or farmers...

South Korean manufacturing giant, Kukdong has joined a growing list of retailers and manufacturers who refuse to use Australian wool because the animal molestation rights group PETA use celebrities in their campaign against the practise of Mulesing.

So now the companies that believe celebrities and hysterical hippie activists over farmers and scientists are: Nike, Gap, Marks & Spence, Hugo Boss, Abercrombie & Fitch, Timberland, H&M, American Eagle, Columbia Sports Wear and Liz Claiborne.

PETA’s brilliant campaign website, http://www.savethesheep.com has all sorts of fabulous pictures pointing out the cruelty of the Australian wool industry for both it’s live-export trade as well as the mulesing business. Mulesing is the process which farmers use to protect their sheep from fly-strike, involving cutting folds of skin away from the sheeps bum-hole.

PETA says that mulesing is cruel. They even program celebrities, desperate to publicise themselves, to say the same thing.

Fly-strike is a problem with sheep in Australia where blowflies feed on the poo stuck to the sheeps bum, eventually causing a massive, open sore and infection which the flies also eat and lay their eggs in. A sheep can take 2-6 months to die an excruciating death from fly-strike, where their infected wounds basically become deeper and more infected until the animal slowly dies.

If you’d care to read through PETA’s brilliant and informative http://www.savethesheep.com website, you’ll notice it conspicuously avoids suggesting an alternative to mulesing, other than “breeding new types of sheep, increased monitoring and blowfly control”. Sounds pretty well thought out, right?

So rather than be cruel and cut the animals once with sharpened instruments, the “animal rights activists” would rather let Australian sheep die the incredibly painful and slow death that fly-strike causes.

It’s not like a bunch of hysterical, hippie activists to sensationalise a “struggle” without thinking it through or coming up with viable alternatives.