The beautiful and very un-lion-haired Deltra Goodrem has a sore throat... but not from sucking at all...

Suppose you were organising the Australian Grand Prix for 2009, the very race that starts the season, and you needed some top Australian “talent” to perform the National Anthem at the beginning of the race.

Luckily, a certain “star” of the Australian ARIA Award Industry Music Industry makes contact with you weeks before the event and offers her “oral services”. With so many things to organise, at least now you can relax about this particular part of the proceedings. In return you offer her and her “celebrity” partner $7000 worth of hospitality, accommodation and catering at the event.

Deltra's lion-hair performs for Mark Webber, who lost the race due to disappointment with Deltra's absence...

But then, at midday on the day of the race (with the anthem scheduled for 5PM), said “star” contacts you to let you know she has “laryngitis”, has lost her voice and can’t possibly sing the Anthem at the Grand Prix. Now you have 5 hours to find a replacement and the let the “multitude” of Delta Goodrem “fans” that she won’t be appearing.
How very professional.

Luckily, to assuage any criticism of her amazing lack of professionalism, Deltra hits the town later that night with a bunch of her “celebrity” friends, talking, dancing and drinking late into the night. All things which you would obviously do if you were “layed up in your hotel room with laryngitis”.

As if all this wasn’t un-Australian enough, Goodrem’s Irish “partner” still turned up to the Grand Prix to enjoy the “free” hospitality provided in exchange for Deltra singing (beautifully) the National Anthem.

Luckily though, no-one at the Grand Prix was mauled by Deltra’s hair this year…

The world’s most handsome, original and now long lived band, Wolfmother, have decided to call it quits citing ‘creative differences’ as the cause behind the split.

For one of the least original bands in the known Universe to use the absolute least original excuse for splitting up should hardly come as a shock. But the fact that the band’s ‘people’ have been talking about ‘ego issues’ is positively hilarious.

Those of you unfamiliar with Wolfmother’s brilliant and creative work have, unfortunately missed out on seeing the band in their original line-up now, but luckily you could just go and listen to some Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath or The Who albums and you would get the full experience… Though somewhat more genuine.

The band’s frontman and most-handsome-man-in-the-World, Andrew Stockdale has said that he’ll keep on making Wolfmother albums with other musicians. We have no clue as to how he’ll come up with new ideas without the ‘creative’ input of his band-mates… oh wait… he’ll be OK.

With all of the built-up resent of picked on high-school student, his next few albums are sure to be blisteringly original crackers that further endear him to the hearts of brainless 12 year-old girls who don’t haven’t discovered the fact that music existed before MySpace.