Why do people call them pirates? The Sea Shepherd logo is clearly not intended to appeal to adventurous young boys.

That’s right folks. Those wacky whale lovers of the Sea Shepherd organisation need our help. After taking the law into their own hands and sailing around the Southern Ocean attempting to terrorize the Japanese whaling fleet into ceasing all activities, these poor, completely innocent activists are crying foul over collisions between theirs and the Japanese ships.

After the sinking of their super-expensive future-boat, the Ady Gil last month, the militant hippies activists are claiming that the Japanese whaler, Yushin Maru 3 intentionally rammed their motor vessel, the Bob Barker (motor vessels run on diesel fuel and cost millions of dollars, incidentally. Very environmental).

The leader of the Sea Shepherd organisation and captain of the Steve Irwin,  Paul Watson (who was kicked out of Greenpeace for wanting to take the organisation in a violent direction) has been calling on the Australian Government to do something about the Japanese whaling activities for some time. Rather than pursuing their agenda in a court of law, though, the organisation would prefer the Boys-Own-Adventure style of excitement allowing them to spend millions of dollars on ships and fuels to “do battle” with the Japanese in the largely un-monitored Southern Ocean.

There’s an organisation based in the Deep South of the USA that makes similar claims about pushing their agenda and “upholding their rights”.

Vigilantism: When will the Government come to the party?

Expert Australian and Coalition troops are having a bit of trouble with the primitive stone-throwers in Afghanistan...

NATO commander in Afghanistan, General David McKiernan, has made a plea to the “Coalition of the Willing” to massively bolster troops numbers in the war-torn country because we’re ’struggling to win’ against the Taliban forces.

Australia is actually contemplating sending in it’s ground infantry – a section of the Army not deployed since Vietnam, another brilliant ADF success.

The Taliban are those nice Shiite chaps who we initially supported because we didn’t really want the commies taking over our friends’ potential oil supplies. They were “ousted” back in 2001 after the US gave them a completely un-hypocritical ultimatum.
It went like this:

1. Deliver to the US all of the leaders of Al Qaeda immediately;
2. Release all imprisoned foreign nationals immediately;
3. Close immediately every terrorist training camp immediately;
4. Hand over every terrorist and their supporters to appropriate authorities immediately;
5. Give the United States full access to terrorist training camps for inspection immediately;

Or

1. we blow you up… immediately.

One of our expert soldiers catches a plane before it hits the runway...

As you would all know, America does and always has complied with all of it’s own demands (and the UN’s). Not to mention Australia… Just visit some of our beautiful “asylum-seeker holiday resorts” or the Americans’ 5-star beach destination in Cuba for special foreign guests.

The table below shows three different countries’ military spending for the last year.

As you can see, we should probably be getting a bunch of Taliban insurgents over here to train our troops in economically successful warfare.

You’d think that the USSR would have “softened them up” a bit for us by spending 10 years trying to do what we’re now trying to.

But then, we’re the GOOD GUYS.

We did what we did before Cheney came to town...

For the second time in as many years, the Australian Government has decided to “further investigate” rapper Snoop Dogg’s criminal history before an upcoming tour. Last year the powers-that-were decided that having prior firearms-possession and drugs charges made the star “undesirable” in our fair land.

This was after the expert assessment of John W. Howard and, then Immigration Minister, Kevin Andrews. Those would be the same two chaps who approved Dick Cheney’s visitor visa 2 months prior to rejecting Snoop’s.

Oh, they would also be the same two men who actually changed the NSW gun laws in a late-night parliament sitting so that Cheney’s bodyguards could walk around our streets carrying concealed, fully-automatic weapons.

For those of you that don’t remember him, Dick Cheney is the former CEO of Halliburton, the US Vice President who has presided over two brilliantly executed annexations of other sovereign nations, as well as – lets not forget – the guy who shot his friend in the face on a hunting trip.

Snoop Dogg denied Australian visa due to previous criminal history...

Snoop Dogg, meanwhile is a point of contention among white-christian Australian politicians due to his lyrics, “gangster” persona and known marijuana advocacy.

What-on-earth would we do if our private-school children started turning out like this guy? I mean, really?

Where as, if our children turn out to be cardiomyopic, money-hungry war-mongers then we’ll have a bright future ahead of our country for a long time.

Maybe we could have Cheney blow Snoop away at the airport and just dismiss it as “necessary for the War of Terror”…