A jockey blowing his horses brains out to win a race - its not cruel, he's just doing it so we can win money by betting on him...

Australian Jockeys are upset that people want to stop them from blowing out their horses’ brains in order to win races. For people so tiny, they sure love the animal cruelty!

New rules being bandied around the Aussie Horse Racing industry (see problem gambling for more info) would make it not as acceptable for the little tackers to use handguns on their horses in order to make them run faster.

“I don’t see the problem,” one Jockey told us in his high-pitched voice (he was too small to identify), “All we want to be allowed to do is blow out our horses’ brains in the crucial last few hundred metres of a race. But the Animal Rights people – who don’t understand that problem-gambling on horse races is part of our national culture – think its in some way cruel or something…”

Since institutionalised sports-gambling addiction is part of our Australian identity, the animal lovers will surely have to come around.
I mean, we breed these animals so we can be cruel to them (not that it’s cruel). If we didn’t breed them for having their brains blown out, they’d just be wasting their time living happily in their natural environment or something.

And you can’t gamble on that!