Russell Crowe and Terri Irwin have united to save the universe from peole who aren't as smart as them...

In a continuation of his brilliant scientific career, New Zealand actor Russell Crowe has told US chat-show host David Letterman that everyone should sign a petition to “save” some of terri Irwin’s real estate from the EVIL of a Queensland mining company.

The property under debate was bought by the Federal Government for $6.3 Million and GIVEN to the “Irwin Family Trust”, 2 years AFTER the company Cape Alumina was given permission to mine in the area. Cape Alumina have carried out 3 separate environmental impact studies – with another yest to be completed – on the effects of their proposed bauxite mine in the area now known as “Steve’s Place” to honour the deceased animal molester and national hero (of America).

While terri Irwin has been telling everyone (via the very crap http://www.savestevesplace.com), she has been getting quotes on putting up sever kilometres of electrified fence to keep the cattle she plans to run on the property in check.

So according to the very environmentally minded Terri:
Mining = bad
Cattle = good

Just have a look at some of Australia’s soil-salinity problems and waterway pollution as a result of cattle-farming.
She certainly loves the environment and not her wallet.

K.Rudd meets B.Obama in his own pants. Obama seems to think Kev is a pretty cute little fella...

In the TOTALLY UNPREDICTABLE and in-no-way-forseeable financial crisis that has struck our western world down like a black plague epidemic, there are few heroes.

Luckily (for all of us), one of those heroes is the Honourable K. Rudd P.M Esquire.

By simply meeting with the new arse to kiss in Washington the President of the United States of Texas, Kev was able to avert the current financial crisis and garantee that it will never happen again.

In order to stop himself using too many acronyms during their meeting, our over-generous and glorious leader took full responsibility for the financial crisis… blending all of his acronyms nicely into one easy-to-remember version.

KFC: Kevin's Financial Crisis acronym cuts through all the politico-speak...

The inaugural Liberal Party Turdball Fundraiser was a smashing success, with more than $50 billion burnt and laughed about...

The inaugural Liberal Party Turdball Fundraiser, which was held last night was a roaring success.
Set up to raise money for underprivileged millionaire politicians (Turdballs), the ball was attended by the A-list of Liberal Party pieces of shit… So it was very crowded.

During the course of the evening the “King and Queen of the Ball” announcement was highly anticipated, with prominent Liberal excreta lining up in their expensive frocks and fake tans, hoping to take out the crown.

As was expected though, the competition was rigged from the start thanks to the rather expensive palm-greasing performed in the proceeding weeks by the Member for Wentworth, who just happened to have a spare million or two lying around.

So it was no surprise that Malcolm Turdball was crowned Queen of the Turdball.

The announcement put to rest long-running speculation in the Australian Media Toilet about which piece of shit would eventually take out the coveted prize, with most media outlets speculating that the smirking turdball, Peter Costello would make a last minute run for the Crown.

But it wasn’t to be, as the former Treasurer cut into his make-up and Botox time by running around all week marketing his new book through the Australian Parliamentary System.

Brendan Nelson and Julie Bishop were dissapointed when they forgot their formal wear. But Julie always looks nice...

Another hot favourite had been the former Defense Minister and current Liberal Party Leader, Brendan “Sonic” Nelson, but after forgetting to wear his frock and turning up only in sneakers without even doing his hair, the nervous hedgehog was dismissed from the competition.

The real success of the night though was the amount of money raised for the underprivileged turdballs who are one of the least cared-for minority groups in Australia. The Ball managed to bring together more than $50 billion in donations which was immediately changed into hundreds and set fire to.

The Queen of the Ball then had a romantic waltz on the ashes of the money with her husband.

Peter Costello uses Australian Parliamant and media to drum up interest in his book. David Hicks isn't allowed to...

So unless you haven’t seen the news in the last few weeks, Peter Costello is selling a book.

You can tell when an Australian politician is selling a book because they use our Political System and media outlets to drum up interest and potential sales revenue.

While some of you may think that sort of thing as corrupt, we’d just like to remind you about David Hicks.

He was the Australian citizen that was left in an illegal, foreign prison for 6 years before being told that when he finally did get out, he wouldn’t be allowed to make a single cent out of “telling his story”.

Tony Abbott takes of his clothes in support of Peter Costello at the annual Abbott & Costello Off for 2008...

This is because we have legislation in this country known as “Proceeds of Crime” where someone is not allowed to profit from criminal activity. Apparently in the Hicks case, this also includes crimes that don’t exist in Australia and didn’t exists in the U.S. when he allegedly committed them.

But if you’re an incompetent Australian Treasurer for 11 years, known for selling off most of our national assets and encouraging the population to mortgage themselves to the eyeballs, then you can sell your book and use uncertainty about your political career to drum up some free publicity.

Sorry, did we say free? We meant to say tax-payer-funded publicity.
That’s the same tax that has been paying Papa Smirk’s $300,000+ salary for the past 12 years.

You sure wouldn’t want to live in one of those corrupt countries!