The inaugural Liberal Party Turdball Fundraiser was a smashing success, with more than $50 billion burnt and laughed about...

The inaugural Liberal Party Turdball Fundraiser, which was held last night was a roaring success.
Set up to raise money for underprivileged millionaire politicians (Turdballs), the ball was attended by the A-list of Liberal Party pieces of shit… So it was very crowded.

During the course of the evening the “King and Queen of the Ball” announcement was highly anticipated, with prominent Liberal excreta lining up in their expensive frocks and fake tans, hoping to take out the crown.

As was expected though, the competition was rigged from the start thanks to the rather expensive palm-greasing performed in the proceeding weeks by the Member for Wentworth, who just happened to have a spare million or two lying around.

So it was no surprise that Malcolm Turdball was crowned Queen of the Turdball.

The announcement put to rest long-running speculation in the Australian Media Toilet about which piece of shit would eventually take out the coveted prize, with most media outlets speculating that the smirking turdball, Peter Costello would make a last minute run for the Crown.

But it wasn’t to be, as the former Treasurer cut into his make-up and Botox time by running around all week marketing his new book through the Australian Parliamentary System.

Brendan Nelson and Julie Bishop were dissapointed when they forgot their formal wear. But Julie always looks nice...

Another hot favourite had been the former Defense Minister and current Liberal Party Leader, Brendan “Sonic” Nelson, but after forgetting to wear his frock and turning up only in sneakers without even doing his hair, the nervous hedgehog was dismissed from the competition.

The real success of the night though was the amount of money raised for the underprivileged turdballs who are one of the least cared-for minority groups in Australia. The Ball managed to bring together more than $50 billion in donations which was immediately changed into hundreds and set fire to.

The Queen of the Ball then had a romantic waltz on the ashes of the money with her husband.