The morbidly obese Australian is certainly not to blame for their massive, disgustingness. It was McDonalds that made them do it...

A recent study by UPI revealed that Australia is the fattest country in the world, prompting the Federal Government to run a huge advertising campaign educating Australians about the size of their arses under the banner of “National Health”. This is because obesity is bad for you.

So in order to stay nice and consistent in their public health message, the Federal Government has been asked by “health experts” to review the average seating capacity requirements for public buses – currently the seating requirement is for 65kg for an average person – the “experts” would like it revised up to 72kg per person because Australians are so disgustingly fat.

Remember that these averages are taking into account the fact that school children are a large percentage of any bus’s passengers, which (in any ordinary sized country) would bring the average down quite a bit. Unfortunately in Australia now, the average school child weighs more than 3000kg.

This is obviously not the child’s fault – and is CERTAINLY not the parents’ fault, it’s the malicious fast-food corporations that go around physically forcing food down these fatties’ mouths, as well as drugging them with “date-rape” drugs and filling up their stomachs while they’re unconscious.

The new Lard Bus that will be used for fatty transport without offending them at all... Joe Hockey didn't really say that - his mouth was full...

Whoever’s responsible, we can’t stress enough that it is NOT THE INDIVIDUAL WHO ATE TOO MUCH.

A recent, similar finding in the Canadian supreme court found that since the fatties weren’t responsible for their own fatness, they were entitled to an extra plane seat on all flights in Canada, free of charge, which seems to be the way that the politically-correct world is moving on this kind of thing.

So just to make everything clear:
-If you’re fat because you’ve eaten too much, it’s not your fault.
-The Government wants to stop us from being too fat with television-awareness campaigns because “health experts” told them its not healthy.
-”Health experts” want the government to increase seating allowances on public transport so it is better for fatties.
-People of average or less-than-average weight get nothing except more fatties taking up their room and breathing wheezing masses of their oxygen.

Have you got that?

Tags: Big Arses, Bus capacity, Extra-Wide Public-Transport, Fatties, Not-Contradictory Health Messages, Obesity

This entry was posted on Monday, December 8th, 2008 at 4:25 pm and is filed under The Ugly. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.